This weekend will be interesting. Maybe. Actually, this weekend will probably be a pain in the vernacular. The reason for this is that we're moving house. Oh, and we haven't finished packing yet.
This is a prime example of planned projects being postponed indefinitely - or at least until it's too late - indefinitely is not an option here as we have to move out by Monday, which is obviously "definite" (if I can say that in this context). It may also be a good juncture to mention that I have had ANOTHER (hare-brained) idea for an additional project that probably won't happen - this week I had what I consider to be a stroke of genius regarding an e-commerce business. I won't go into depth here, just in case it actually stands a chance of coming to fruition, as nobody else seems to have done this (as far as I'm aware), so it would probably be wise for me to keep it schtum at least for now.
All this in addition to work and study (oh yeah - the first of my Year 2 Law assignments is due in just a smidge over a week's time, so THAT should really be my priority - essays don't just write themselves, so there's an inconvenient sixteen hours' commitment that I have to make, in amongst the boxes and the mayhem. I think I might find a moment to obtain a web address or two, though... I'm considering moving this blog onto its own dedicated domain, as well as setting up a couple of other online thingies. Watch this space.
One deeply unpleasant thing that has pervaded the current house move for the last six weeks of planning, has been the sheer expense of the undertaking. Now, I'm sure that everyone reading this - be they tenants, home owners or even just living with parents - is aware that when renting a property it's customary to pay a deposit in addition to the first month's rent. So, to begin, there's just over £2500 to stump up, for a one-bedroomed apartment. That, however, is merely the start of the financial haemorrhage.
It has also, in recent years, become increasingly common for a letting agency to charge tenants an administration fee. In my experience, this averages at about £100 for credit checks, paperwork, inventory, etc. A little steep, maybe, but it does cover quite a few things. It's also of rather questionable legality, for various reasons; the agency has already been paid (usually quite handsomely) by the landlord for this kind of stuff, and technically the landlord is their actual client; furthermore, it's also effectively charging someone for the mere privilege of being a consumer, which is HIGHLY dubious... Imagine, for instance, if a supermarket charged you an entry fee, before you even started shopping!
So even in light of the questionable status of such a fee, it was particularly galling that the agency in question decided it would be amusing to charge each of us (i.e. my wife AND me, individually) an administration fee. So £200 + VAT = £240, then... Really?! But surely we're filling in the same form? Oh, and they even emailed that to us for printing out, so their fee doesn't even include printing costs!
One would assume that the madness blissfully stops here. Sadly not. It turns out that the letting agency in question doesn't actually include the inventory fee in their admin charge. Why not? Who knows? This implies that the admin fee is merely to cover finding a template for a contract, plus credit checks - which we all KNOW cost less than £100 - imagine the state of consumer credit and the subsequently ravaged economy if Visa or Mastercard had to pay this for every credit card application. One would also assume that the landlord probably agreed and paid for the contract side of things already, so that £240 was to cover credit checks that cost maybe £10, if we're being generous. Oh, and the inventory fee will be nearly £150. Which in itself is rather shady. Surely, the landlord should just say what they think is in the place, and we should subsequently either agree or disagree with him. Apparently not. It seems that looking inside 4 rooms to see what they contain, then writing this precious information on a sheet of paper, requires a special breed of person - specifically one who is only available via a very expensive company who specialise in employing such rare and insightful experts. Incidentally, one would assume that for the wedge of green that we're forking out for the privilege, said crack team of surveyors would be able to perform their dark magicks on a Sunday morning. Evidently not. So the logistics of the operation developed a whole extra degree of complexity, but I won't go into that side of things.
At this juncture, it can be shown that we've forked out £2900 so far, and still not actually moved in. But it gets better. Our initial contract lasts a year. After this year, if we choose to move out, we have to get the place cleaned professionally. So that'll cost us. At least we don't pay the agency for the privilege. The thing is, that if it isn't clean, this cost comes out of our deposit. Let's just assume that that will go ok.
But WAIT! What's this? Hidden stealthily in the fine print of our contract is an innocuous-looking clause that says something along the lines of "On vacating the premises, the tenants shall be reamed for another £85 for general maintenance and cleaning of the communal areas". Come again? So we have to pay a professional cleaner to clean the apartment or it comes out of our deposit. Any costs covering maintenance of wear-and-tear come out of our deposit. And we have to also pay £85 for cleaning and maintenance? Huh? Isn't that paying twice for the same thing?
Ok. So lets assume that we're unable to foot the charges necessary to amscray. This leaves but one option... We'd have to stay and renew the contract... Guess what? The agency has put another funny in the contract. There's another cheeky little clause nestling in there that says if we renew the contract, they charge us £100 + VAT each to do so. WHY? How can it POSSIBLY amount to another £240 of value to us to be given the same sheet of paper to sign that we've already signed once. These leeches want to charge us an additional quarter grand for them to do nothing at all. I'd almost consider homicide over this. This can't possibly be legal, can it? If only I knew a tame lawyer who I could ask, or maybe even a law student... HOLD THE PHONE! I DO! I'm a law student!
So is this legal? Hmmm. It IS, technically, if we sign the contract to renew it. However, what if we refuse to sign, and simply stay put. Ah. Well here we see some small glimmer of hope. It seems that at least for now, if we merely do nothing when out contract runs out, legally it will simply regress to a rolling monthly contract, wherein the landlord (or an agent acting on their behalf) is required to give us two months' notice to get us to move out. Heheheheh... Finally, the law comes to the aid of the weak and opressed. I, for one, can't WAIT until they ask us to sign the renewal. I love to see the worshippers of Mammon getting annoyed. Wonder if their heads will explode when they realise that they won't get £200 + VAT for doing sweet FA, and that if they also wish to continue to get their percentage from the landlord, they either have to let us stay or actually put some time and effort into serving notice and finding a new tenant.
Still... I think the total cost to us for this ill-advised endeavour remains £3000 for this weekend's jollities, and who knows what BS they'll fabricate when we move out, in order to take an additional bite out of the deposit, over and above the contracted £85 "cleaning-and-maintenance-again" charge.
Easy come, easy go...
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